A marriage breakdown can cause undue stress and anxiety in either party of the marriage, although it is usually the party that does not want the marriage/relationship to end who is affected more. There are several factors that would contribute to the breakdown of the marriage such as Infertility, Financial Problems, Domestic Violence, Social Media, Menopause, Blended families and unsolved issues from past relationships to name but a few. The list can be endless however, it is important to understand that each relationship has its faults and merits which can lead to a breakdown of the marriage. No marriage can be all good and not all marriages are all bad.
If you are still at the point where both parties or either party may wish to reconcile, then marriage counselling and therapy in a safe and impartial environment would be greatly recommended. Having therapy allows the couple the opportunity to discuss issues that have negatively affected the marriage. It allows containing space with an objective non-judgemental professional to facilitate a space within which either party can bring questions or issues into further discussions which they believe may have led to present circumstances.
If unfortunately, there is no resolution of the marriage then, it is recommended that you consider Therapy for yourself and children if involved.
A Marriage breakdown is known to be one of the most eventful and stressful situations in our life that we may have to encounter. You may suffer symptoms of depression, self-harm and even committing suicide. We forget the psychological impact this may have on our wellbeing and the ability to function each day. We may go through feelings of despair and find it hard to see light at the end of tunnel BUT there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You may experience, feelings of unworthiness and rejection from family and society. You may no longer belong or be invited to join couple get together you once enjoyed with your ex-partner. You may feel abandoned and rejected by the people you invested yourself in building relationships with as part of your marital social network. You are already mourning the loss of a loved one that you shared so many experiences with good and bad, you feel that they were an attachment of your life.
You have now lost the extended social network that you once belonged to and your children may have lost this space too. You had planned the future together and had dreams and inspirations. You may have even felt that your partner was your soul-mate, and no other person could even measure up to them. You feel like you have lost a limb and do not know how to function without him/her. You may spend days in bed, trying to come up with the solution of “when did it all go wrong?”, “what did I do?”, “if only I had done that, we would still be together”, “I should have tried harder to make the marriage work”.
We experience the enormous loss all these shattered dreams, holidays, children, special occasions and much much more than we had imagined and planned together. Now we may be left with bitterness and hatred.
We go through every emotion and heart-wrenching incident to try and find the answers but what we don’t realise is we have to change our way of thinking about our partner. I know it is hard to even call them EX’s, as your probably still in love with your partner, that for now is ok, but later on, we have to learn to love ourselves more.
The situation is challenging and made a lot worse when children are involved, as you have to put their needs and emotional health first. It may be very difficult to find time for your own feelings when you are trying so hard to protect your children from feeling the loss and pain of their secure and safe world comes tumbling down and you try to hold it together for their sake because you might even be blaming yourself. Being in the position of the parent that’s left behind could be one of the hardest things anyone can ever imagine being in. You may already be struggling to deal with your own loss and can’t even function yourself, let alone care for your child/children. It is also difficult for the other party to leave the marital home and the children, and reduce daily contact with the family. Unfortunately, there are no winners at this stage.
However not all hope is lost, we can start to rebuild ourselves and although it will take a lot of hard work and determination you can start by attending to your own pain and loss. This will allow you to acknowledge, accept and valid your loss allowing you to begin the first stage of healing and repairing yourself. Your emotions become the part of you that helps to empower you with a different perspective and new possibilities you may not have imagined leading you to become the New and better YOU!. Once you have undergone therapy, then you will be able to assess matters and difficult issues as well as working through this difficult process with your children and other family members.
At Online Therapy Clinic one of our highly qualified professionals can provide with caring support and help you to deal with the emotional turmoil from a relationship breakup. .
Best of Luck in your road to recovery!